The platinum-selling singer-songwriter plays Calvin University on Friday night. In an interview with Local Spins writer Enrique Olmos, McMillan covered a lot of bases — from religion to aliens.
Totally Obsessed With the Idea of God: John Mark McMillan (Courtesy Photo)
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There’s a photo of John Mark McMillan on his Instagram page that is truly captivating. Buried somewhere in a grid of album promos, acoustic one-takes and the occasional (magnificent) bearded selfie, is a photo of McMillan in the studio.
He’s sitting as far back in a chair as it’ll go, and his hands are thrust upward in a joyous motion. It’s like the musician version of Michael Jordan’s legendary fist-pump after sinking the game winner over the Utah Jazz.
His pure and triumphant elation is evident. Over what exactly? Who knows. Perhaps he’s defeated his inner critic. Maybe he captured the perfect vocal take. Or it’s possible he just really, REALLY likes the guitar tone blasting from the studio monitors.
Any way you cut it, it’s hard not to crack a smile when scrolling past the joyous photo. These days, McMillan seems a little looser than his evangelically anchored younger self.
Creativity Sparked on the Road: McMillan (Courtesy Photo)
That guy churned out mega CCM hits in his sleep.
There was a time when “How He Loves,” a song penned by McMillan, was ubiquitous in the world of Christianity. Churches around the country had the song in steady rotation at their services. David Crowder released a rendition of his own that played constantly on Christian radio stations.
At 42, McMillan has loosened the collar a bit on his worldview, striving instead for a more rounded and “holistic” take on spirituality.
He still believes in God, he tells me over the phone. He also still identifies as a Christian (“most days”). But he’s worked to shed a lot of layers, including a “savior complex” that informed many of his interactions with religion and the church.
On Friday night (Feb. 18), he brings his “Awake in the Dream” tour to the chapel at Calvin University, with Michigan’s The Timbre of Cedar opening the concert. Tickets to the 8 p.m. show are $25, available online here.
We begin our conversation on the other side of the world: Japan. McMillan recently visited the country for the first time last year. His wife gifted him the trip for his 40th birthday. He’s simply beaming while recalling the trip.
“One of my favorite parts about traveling is the feeling of being as far away from home as possible,” McMillan says. “I like feeling comfortably out of place. It always sparks my creativity. I came back from Japan with so many creative ideas.”
He recounts spending time in Tokyo and Osaka with his wife Sarah. He mentions the ”incredible” and diverse foods they sampled, ranging from French to Italian, and of course, Japanese. Tokyo ranks first for having more Michelin-starred restaurants than any other city in the world; 212 to be exact.
McMillan says he was surprised to find that in a mostly digitized world, and in one of the most technologically advanced countries in the world, there seemed to be a high importance placed on the physicality of consumer goods.
In Japan, cash is king. And CDs are still a widely-purchased item, taking precedence over streaming platforms. Having something to “hold and feel” made it more desirable. But it was mostly the immersion of being in a starkly different world that has McMillan smitten with Japan.
”I absolutely loved it. We hardly met anyone who could speak English. So it was really fascinating to be in a place where you feel very safe but also have no idea what’s going on,” he says.
“It’s really exciting. You see things differently. I want to go back and I’m planning another trip with some friends for next year.”
DEEP QUESTIONING AND BEING HONEST
When he’s not touring or crafting songs, McMillan enjoys collecting tapes and comic books, sipping whiskey and spending time with his family in Charlotte, N.C. His days sound pleasant and peaceful.
But it wasn’t long ago that McMillan waded through a difficult season – one of “purposelessness” and depression, a “mid-life crisis,” but with the added layers of being a father, a well-known artist and a spiritual leader of sorts.
“I grew up in a Christian world. You know, my parents are ministers and I was raised in a world where God and Jesus and religion were the most important, most talked about topics,” McMillan says. “So, you know, when that started breaking down, it was terrifying. My world was falling apart.”
He feared that his career – largely built on the Christian belief system – would implode. With that came a teetering crisis of identity.
“I was the guy who talked about Jesus in a way that made people feel awesome about the world. A lot of people won’t allow doubt into the conversation when so much rides on believing,” he says.
Returning to Calvin: McMillan performs on Friday night. (Courtesy Photo)
“It made me afraid to say ‘I’m not sure if I believe in God . . . or at least I’m not sure if I believe in God the way the people around me told me I was supposed to believe in God.’ Why is there so much fear around being honest about God? I felt like I wasn’t allowed to ask those questions.”
McMillan eventually found his way out of the existential woods and back to a reimagined form of Christianity, one that doesn’t hinge on fear of the eternal.
“Let me be clear. I really love Jesus, I really love God. I’m totally obsessed with the idea of God. I’ve derived an unlimited amount of joy just thinking about the ideas of God,” McMillan says. “I don’t come to God because of existential anxiety. I refuse for that to be the reason I approach God.”
On the other side of his deep questioning, McMillan released his ninth studio record, “Peopled with Dreams,” in 2020. It’s a lush collection of upbeat songs. The drums are enormous, while a plethora of synthesized ear candy abounds.
He has one of those voices that is unmistakable. His husky growl ties a thread through each of his records, finding him belting out each lyric like they’re his last.
Somehow, our conversation steers towards aliens. Well, actually I asked him about aliens after listening to a recent podcast interview where he unflinchingly stated his confidence in their existence.
“If you step back and look at the universe critically, there’s no way that we’re the only life in the universe. It’s just way too big,” he says, somewhat excitedly.
“I mean, maybe there’s a chance because, you know, the universe is also very weird. But if we’re all that there is, that would be extremely weird. To me, extraterrestrials aren’t weird. What’s weird is if we’re the only thing. Right? Super weird.”
VIDEO: John Mark McMillan, “Roaring Thunder”
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